It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
