Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
