Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
