He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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