Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
