OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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