Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
