apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
