I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
