i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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