its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Farmville is her only friend.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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