if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
