This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
