small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
