I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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