kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
where are my eyebrows?
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