I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
