Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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