I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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