My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
