it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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