Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
