Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
