I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
