You can't motorboat a personality
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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