dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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