Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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