Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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