I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
