I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Come see our sink grown plant.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
