Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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