Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
