After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
