Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize