so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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