he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
