All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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