Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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