The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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