Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think people are normalizing furries
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
