did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
