I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
