take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
