i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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