i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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