you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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