I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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