No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
