Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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