The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
